A week is a long time and a lot of crappy stuff can happen to us in those five little days. Without even realizing it I, and I think most of us, just bundle all those crappy feelings, worries, fears up inside of us anthey just sit in there and boil until it gets hot enough to burn our insides.
Which brings me to the reason I have created Fuhgeddaboudit Fridays. This is a time for me to write away all my troubles and bring out my inner mobster (and you know there is one).
So without further ado I would like to let go of the following this week:
Interview Mind Fuck. Yes I had an interview! YAY. However, we all know that interviews fuck with our minds majorly before, during, after and then during the infamous waiting period. Not only did I have a pounding headache for a day afterwards but all these questions were running through my head: Was I good enough? Maybe I shouldn't have asked those questions, was it too bold? Maybe I shouldn't have been paying attention to those too random fools play-fighting outside the window? Even if I get the job am I really fit for it? I liked them but did they like me?
The list can go on and on and on, trust me I can do a whole post on why interviews are complete bullshit, but I will save that for later.
I'm letting go of all the doubts that come with the interview process. Right now. Matter of fact I kicked that interview's ass and I really was able to show them who I am. That right there is an accomplishment.
Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda. I have been beating myself up about what I should have or could have been doing. Whether it was in the past, or even at the present moment. Why are you sitting down watching the Chew when you could better be using your time cleaning the entire house? Or better yet, applying for more jobs? Maybe you should have never stopped playing the violin then you wouldn't have to practice so hard at it right now?
Come on! Those things are not fun! Who wants to clean the entire house and add to their long list of Jobs Applied To list? I should be able to sit down and watch a show, or read a book, or whatever it is I would like to do to at the moment. Even it it means sitting on my ass. This is one of the rare beauty's of unemployment. Might as well ride this wave while it lasts because I'm pretty sure said Interview will be coming through soon. :)
Letting go of all the should's and what-if's this week.
Arguments & Uncomfortable Confrontations. There were some quarrels this week. Me vs. Friend. Me vs. Family. There are times in our lives where some things have to come to a head and sometimes people get angry.I REALLY hate arguments. I don't even like to hear anyone raising their voice. This most likely is due to hearing my parent's fighting while growing up in a household that was bound to split up. They both have very dominating personalities and voices so I obviously never got a word in. And nothing has changed.
I usually get steamrolled over just because I chose not to yell. I also feel like I physically can not yell. I have a tiny, raspy voice and whenever I even crack the next octave while shouting it feels like my vocal cords are giving way to destruction. So, yeah, no yelling for me. But that means that nobody truly listens to me. Especially in an angry moment because they just keep yelling. Oh, well.
Anyways, letting this bullshit go. Things will either work themselves out or they won't. I gave my hand at trying to resolve the problems and now I am letting it go.
Well that feels better! I am liking this platform of letting the build up of the week go. Do you have anything you need to let go? Write it down or, better yet, tell me! Contact a gal with ya problems. I don't mind. Or try your luck with meditation. Its a calming way to shut your mind down and really focus on what matters. I just signed up for Oprah & Deepak Chopra's Meditation exercises, its free and there are a few weeks left to join. Get on it!
A river is washing over me,
<3 Sab
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