Happy Thanksgiving!

I bought this adorable little skirt at a thrift store last week. I liked the whole gray, navy and black situation going on. Just happened to go well with my new dark red hair. :)

 Hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving!

Top- Forever 21

Skirt, Belt, Skirt, Shoes- Thrifted

Stockings- American Apparel

Jewelry, Watch- Gifts from Grandma

People Doing Good in the World: Local Woman Creating a Yummy Thanksgiving Dinner for Many

"I love the friendship -- the fellowship of watching the community come together," she said. "It's what I live for."- Lurline Moore

For thirty-one years Livermore resident Lurline Moore and her husband have created a huge community thanksgiving feast for anyone who doesn't have a place to go on Thanksgiving. What started as an idea to feed the community's poor turned into a big family dinner for veterans, seniors, the homeless and anyone who wants to attend. This event requires hundreds of volunteers, 1000 pounds of turkey and local restaurants donate whatever they can to make this dinner happen each year.

I do not know how I have lived here my entire life and have never known about this. What an incredible way to come together! I need to volunteer next year.

You go Lurline & Crew!

Read the entire article on how this wonderful event comes together here.


Spread a little love.


<3 Sab

Uping My Game in Bed

Not THAT game you sicko. I'm talking about my sleepwear!

I woke up yesterday in my outfit of choice for the evening; bright blue leggings and an over-sized white (well, used to be white) T-shirt that I got when I went to my family's reunion about,  hmmm ...six years ago.

Looking down at this sad ensemble I thought to myself...When did your choice of nightwear become so hum-drum and uninspiring!? Why do you have a sad pile of old band shirts, tiny, faded, spaghetti-strap tank tops, and old pajama pants that have lost their drawstrings? When did you start accepting these low standards for sleepwear!?

Well, the answer to that question is that somewhere along the line I developed a bad habit of keeping cloths that had seen their days and were no longer wearable in public. They either no longer fit me, had a stain or a rip but,  instead of getting rid of them (like a sane person) I saved them and accepted them as something I can wear to bed. I did this for two reasons. 1) Due to my tiny stature and the fact that I don't really grow anymore there are a lot of pieces that I bought to wear in high school that I have held onto because they technically still fit me and 2)Why would I get rid of something that I already have - even if its a scrap that is falling apart- just to go out and spend money on more stuff? (In case you didn't know - I'm frugal.)

I tell myself You just sleep in them Sabrina. No big deal. Nobody even sees these hideous pieces that you wear.

Yes, it is just cloths to sleep in. I'm just laying in a bed for 8-10 hours and any old shirt will do but what happened to the days of women wearing beautiful nightgowns, looking and feeling just as good when they sleep as they do when they dress for broad daylight?

    I long for a gown. A sexy black robe. Soft fabrics. Matching PJ's. Silky chemises! Oh the possibilities.

 I would like to wake up in the morning looking like I just stepped out of Vogue; sipping my coffee while wrapped in a black lace chemise and a peignoir. Or, jump out of bed feeling like a Victoria Secret Super Model in my comfy, yet perfectly tailored to a women's figure, pajama pants! Is this too much to ask for? I think not.

We women need to take a stand for sexy sleepwear! Whatever "sexy" means to you. We deserve to feel sexy, even when we're dreaming. I'm on a mission for a complete new sleep wardrobe and I'm starting with these inspiring pieces:

 

Burning the scraps,

<3 Sab

A Big Reason to Be Thankful this Year

I remember around the same time last year a few days before Thanksgiving I was pretty depressed. I was living in San Diego and this was the first holiday that I had come across while being away from my family. I wasn't going to be able to go home for Thanksgiving this year.

At the time I had to work a Retail job to pay the bills. I worked 6 days a week - long, boring hours on a sales floor. I did like my coworkers and boss so it wasn't the worst place to be but, I forgot that Retail gets to tell you NO when you want to have time off for the holidays. Of course we were closed for Thanksgiving but in order for me to go home I would need 3-4 days off which wasn't going to happen. They needed me to work. You know,  because Black Friday sales are more important than spending time with people you love. Complete bullshit.




Ugh. I was pissed. I got into a negative funk. I despised all the fall decor around the shops on my street and was in an inner state of panic because this would be the first year ever that I would miss having Thanksgiving dinner with my family. I would miss the chaos. My aunt being annoyed that my Mom never helps set up the food, and somehow gets away with it. My grandpa telling and laughing at his own bad jokes. My grandma being the loudest person in the room. The half traditional, half Mexican food. My grandpa claiming he ate the turkey neck (every year!) even though nobody ever sees it. The after turkey and too much booze naps. The olives on the appetizer table (I would usually eat all of them.) The after dessert trip to the movie theater. The last minute - lets go down and get in line for Black Friday sales and freeze our asses off - genius idea. And of course -  the most important thing -  the laughter.

Stupid work. I was so aggravated that I was working in Retail at the time. The irresponsible part of me just wanted to say Fuck It and take off for the holidays - who cares if I had this job by the time I got back! But of course I couldn't lose my job. I had rent to pay and friends depending on me. Guess I would just have to suck it up and work. So I had finally accepted that I would not be going home. Oh well. Major Sad Face.

Then walking into work a few days before Thanksgiving I went to check the board where my schedule was posted. I didn't even want to look at it because I knew it would just drive the knife in further but there it was in black & white:

 Sabrina. Working. Working. Working. OFF.OFF. OFF.

Wait. Sabrina OFF!? Not working?? Not scheduled!?? Sabrina is off for 3 days!? How did this happen? Sabrina gets to go home for Turkey Day!? The Retail Gods were looking out for me! They didn't want to see me scoffing at faux leaf decorations and paper turkeys! Go home they said!

YAY! I couldn't believe my eyes! I even had to double check with my boss to make sure it wasn't a mistake!I was sooooo HAPPY!

Still on my Holiday Time Granted High I realized that I now have 3 days off but how was I going to get home!? Getting a flight 3 days before Thanksgiving was NOT going to happen. Would it?

So there I was - sitting on my apartment floor in San Diego desperately searching for last minute flights, the costs of a rental car, and even looking at carpooling with strangers just to get home. I was determined to get there, for I couldn't stand the thought of not being with my favorite people on that special day now that I had the chance to.

But try as I might it seemed my fate had already been decided. There were no flights out of San Diego and no cars I could afford. I searched on car share websites for a sane person driving home for the holiday but most people were leaving early or coming back late and it didn't correspond with my work schedule.

FUCK. I had the time off but no way to get there! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? I was devastated. After having a good cry - one of those frustrated ones you see babies having when they just don't understand what is happening - I finally accepted that I would not be going home for Turkey Day.

Even though I wasn't able to be home with my blood related family I ended up having a very special day with my roommate family. We even cooked our own turkey! Looking back it was the right thing to happen. I was meant to experience something new with my best friends and I am fortunate that I have those moments in my memory.

Now its been a year and I am living back in the Bay Area. I am SO grateful to be able to spend time with my family this Thanksgiving. I don't need to worry about how to get there, or if I can go, because I am GOING and I am SO excited! I think not being able to make it last year really will allow me to be thankful to be around all the chaos this year and I can not wait to hear the laughter.

If you are able to spend time with those you love this year really soak it in. Cherish the moment. Not everyone is so lucky.


Patiently waiting for the feast,

<3 Sab

Fuhgeddaboudit! Fridays: Interview's, the Past and Annoying Arguments

A week is a long time and a lot of crappy stuff can happen to us in those five little days. Without even realizing it I, and I think most of us, just bundle all those crappy feelings, worries, fears up inside of us anthey just sit in there and boil until it gets hot enough to burn our insides.

Which brings me to the reason I have created Fuhgeddaboudit Fridays. This is a time for me to write away all my troubles and bring out my inner mobster (and you know there is one).

So without further ado I would like to let go of the following this week:

Interview Mind Fuck. Yes I had an interview! YAY. However, we all know that interviews fuck with our minds majorly before, during, after and then during the infamous waiting period. Not only did I have a pounding headache for a day afterwards but all these questions were running through my head: Was I good enough? Maybe I shouldn't have asked those questions, was it too bold? Maybe I shouldn't have been paying attention to those too random fools play-fighting outside the window? Even if I get the job am I really fit for it? I liked them but did they like me?

The list can go on and on and on, trust me I can do a whole post on why interviews are complete bullshit, but I will save that for later.

I'm letting go of all the doubts that come with the interview process. Right now. Matter of fact I kicked that interview's ass and I really was able to show them who I am. That right there is an accomplishment.

Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda. I have been beating myself up about what I should have or could have been doing. Whether it was in the past, or even at the present moment. Why are you sitting down watching the Chew when you could better be using your time cleaning the entire house? Or better yet, applying for more jobs? Maybe you should have never stopped playing the violin then you wouldn't have to practice so hard at it right now? 

Come on! Those things are not fun! Who wants to clean the entire house and add to their long list of Jobs Applied To list? I should be able to sit down and watch a show, or read a book, or whatever it is I would like to do to at the moment. Even it it means sitting on my ass. This is one of the rare beauty's of unemployment. Might as well ride this wave while it lasts because I'm pretty sure said Interview will be coming through soon. :)

Letting go of all the should's and what-if's this week.

Arguments & Uncomfortable Confrontations. There were some quarrels this week. Me vs. Friend. Me vs. Family. There are times in our lives where some things have to come to a head and sometimes people get angry.I REALLY hate arguments. I don't even like to hear anyone raising their voice. This most likely is due to hearing my parent's fighting while growing up in a household that was bound to split up. They both have very dominating personalities and voices so I obviously never got a word in. And nothing has changed.

I usually get steamrolled over just because I chose not to yell. I also feel like I physically can not yell. I have a tiny, raspy voice and whenever I even crack the next octave while shouting it feels like my vocal cords are giving way to destruction. So, yeah, no yelling for me. But that means that nobody truly listens to me. Especially in an angry moment because they just keep yelling. Oh, well.

Anyways, letting this bullshit go. Things will either work themselves out or they won't. I gave my hand at trying to resolve the problems and now I am letting it go.

Well that feels better! I am liking this platform of letting the build up of the week go. Do you have anything you need to let go? Write it down or, better yet, tell me! Contact a gal with ya problems. I don't mind. Or try your luck with meditation. Its a calming way to shut your mind down and really focus on what matters. I just signed up for Oprah & Deepak Chopra's Meditation exercises, its free and there are a few weeks left to join. Get on it! 

A river is washing over me,

<3 Sab

My 26 Year Old Reality

I'm sure we all can recall a time in our childhood where we thought a certain age was so far away. I remember getting my licence at 15, seeing that "21 in 2008" stamped across the front in red font and thinking "21 Oh my god. I am going to be so OLD. And my little brother will be 18! Holy Crap. But that's so far away." 

That's pretty much how it went down in my head. Don't even get me started on how weird the year 2008 seemed. Pretty much the equivalent of what 3032 looks like to us today. Unthinkable.

Well flash forward and we are at my 26th year on this Earth. Forget 21 that was already a lifetime ago! 26 is such a boring year. At least with 21 you get to look forward to drinking (legally finally.) 25 brought me a lot of introspection and a letter informing me of my Social Security benefits...YAY for being 25! But 26, its one of those indifferent years. One of those years I might forget. One of those years that I thought all those little boxes I created as a kid underneath the titled "Life Plan" would have been checked by now.

Age 18- Go to college
Age 22- Get awesome paying job because you went to college
Age 23- Meet awesome life partner and spend some time with him before "then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage."
Age 26- Have Babies! Start family life. Settle down. Yes, you are accomplished!

Now obviously a 10 year old kid has a different idea of what should happen before she gets into the real world. I understand that my plan was probably faulty, and my feelings toward this plan may have very well changed, but I figured it would all be on my plate by now. 

It is not on my plate. Enter my 26 year old reality:

• Went to college. YAY. However its not all its cracked up to be and now I have $20 G's in loans to repay.
• Unemployed. Granted by choice and pride but still, no box ticked and those loans are still knocking...
• Single. Boyfriend just dumped me a month ago and there are no current prospects. Did NOT see this coming.
• "Get awesome paying job" is pretty much a joke. I have had some great jobs working with some great people. I work hard and have a nifty resume, which I am thankful for but as far as 10 year old Sabrina's mind goes and even 26 year old Sabrina's mind goes "awesome paying job"  has not turned up yet. I honestly don't even know what it looks like (besides entrepreneurship). 
• Babies! YEAH RIGHT. Babies? Psshh. See above.  Need awesome life partner and awesome paying job in order to make awesome babies. 

OK, that's the end of my self loathing. 

So its pretty clear that nothing has gone to plan. Which I am surprisingly OK with. These goals, these empty boxes; job, boyfriend and life plan give us some sort of stability. Something to strive for. And you strive and you reach but it's funny. Just when you think life is going in the right direction and you are making progress, albeit baby steps but its still some type of progress,and you have something to cling onto good old LIFE pops back in and pushes you right back into Transformation Mode! Its INSANE. But you know what, bring it LIFE because I do not want to stay stagnant. If popping my carefully blown bubble is the way I have to see that my plan is in need of obliteration so that I can carve my own path then so be it.

With my current bubble popped (obviously there have been more bubbles in my 26 years) I've spent the last few months really digging deep into what it is that I want. New Plan. Drawing board, day and night. Self-help books, inspiring Ted Talks you name it I have read, watched, listened to it. Its funny about wants because fundamentally they don't really change. The external things we chase are the ones that change but what you really feel in your bones is always there just waiting to be looked at again, perhaps with a new perspective.
Even sixteen years later I want to have those same feelings that 10 year old Sabrina wanted. She still wants to be feel successful, loved, appreciated, and valued for her work in the world. She wants to be creative, have her freedom and share her ideas with others. She wants those accomplishments.

Which brings me to why I am writing this blog entry. I don't want 26 to be just another indifferent year. I believe every year can be one where we grow and become our next better self. 26 will be that year for me. This year I am doing what it is that I want. One of those wants is to blog. To have a creative outlet for all this junk-up-in-my-mind- trunk. To get it out and not care what anyone else is going to have to say or think about it. Everyone is worried about being judged, including me. But I least have to try. I have to try to hold myself accountable for those things, feelings, experiences that I want.

Don't hold me to being perfect. In fact imperfection is exactly what I am striving for. There is more truth in the imperfections of our lives. I am not going to make a general statement as to what this blog will represent. I want to do, wear, and say what I want to say (grammatically/ politically correct or not) and I don't really care if someone is listening. However if you are, then I hope it leads to at least some inspiration or new perspective in your own life.

So hear goes this narcissistic journey of Fab Sab. 26 year old newb' to the blogosphere. Dreamer and hopefully Doer of her deepest desires.

*Cheers*

Until next time... <3 Sab